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by softestlad



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Adoption, Communication, M/M, Soft Husbands, robron sprogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 16:36:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17964164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softestlad/pseuds/softestlad
Summary: There's more than one way to have a baby, especially for two men with non biological parents they're very connected to, and tenuous (at best) relationships with their biological fathers. Lets rap about it.





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**Author's Note:**

> so i've been lurking on tumblr for a long time now and i finally broke and got a username to which i am immediately living up to with this, my first fic.

Robert watched Aaron’s shoulder blades move as he dried Chas and Paddy’s cups, Robert’s in-laws only having left a few minutes before, profuse congratulations spilling out from behind sympathetic eyes. Aaron’s posture was relaxed, and Robert just watched him move, thoughtful.

“Something’s just occurred to me,” he said at last, rising from the kitchen chair and shuffling his way up behind his husband, smoothing his hands up his back, then down again and around his waist. He spared a moment to smile at the way Aaron instantly relaxed back into him, not pausing in his task in the slightest, comfortable in Robert’s arms. Robert pressed a quick peck to Aaron’s neck, without intent, still mostly a smile.

“Rarely a good thing,” Aaron said, spoons clacking together in the tea towel Liv had brought back from her last visit to Sandra, a map of Ireland outlined in green, and Dublin under a stain-cloud of something that could have been Bolognese sauce or blood.

Robert huffed, blowing air past Aaron’s ear. “I’m serious.”

“Right,” Aaron said, setting down the cutlery to turn around in Robert’s arms. He raised his eyebrows at Robert’s tone. “What is it?”

Robert considered for a moment, thumbs stroking Aaron’s sides.

“I was just thinking,” he started, “we kind of jumped into this whole surrogacy plan full throttle – “

Aaron stiffened. “You’ve changed your mind?” Aaron’s face couldn’t seem to decide between angry and heartbroken, “Robert, we’ve just told my mum, wh – “

“Aaron,” Robert squeezed his waist, sliding one hand up Aaron’s chest to cup his face, the rasp of stubble against his palm. “I’ve not changed my mind, calm down.”

Aaron’s eyes closed and he huffed a sigh out his nose, before looking at Robert apologetically. He raised a hand to clasp Robert’s wrist where he held his face, a sheepish smile blooming as Robert drew away so they could settle on the couch, half facing each other and knee to knee, before continuing.

“I want this, Aaron. With you. But I think we should pause it for a second and just think about our other options. We went straight to surrogacy and didn’t really consider the alternatives. We have options.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow and poked Robert’s tummy, right above the belt. “You growin’ a womb I don’t know about?”

Robert slapped his hand, smirking. “I meant like adoption, idiot. Or fostering?”

Aaron’s own smirk dimmed, and Robert frowned in turn. He couldn’t quite read what was happening on his husband’s face, disconcerting in and of itself. There wasn’t a face he had spent more time studying, and he had come to think of himself as an expert in all things Aaron. Every inch of his body, mapped and memorised, every beat of his brave, soft heart echoed in Robert’s own ribcage. Then Aaron started playing with his ring, and Robert was back on more familiar ground.

“What?” he asked, “What is it?”

“I – “ Aaron cleared his throat, glancing down at his hands. He shrugged, voice gruff when he spoke again. “I just didn’t think you’d want that.”

Robert blinked.

“What?” he asked again, more confused than before. “Why not? What made you think that?”

Aaron didn’t look up, still twisting his ring in circles. Robert put his hand over Aaron’s, stilling his fidget, and spoke softly.

“Hey,” Aaron finally looked at him, a caution pinching around his eyes, like he was trying to decide if it would be worth it to step on a landmine. “Talk to me.”

Aaron’s eyes softened.

“Please?”

Aaron looped his fingers more securely through Robert’s.

“Andy.”

_It’s Robert, actually._ Robert’s brain caught up before he could smile at his own joke, confusion settling over him, mixed in with everything else he felt about his brother.

“What about Andy?”

“The way you’ve talked about him, since we met. Since _before_ we met. You were always going on about how Andy was adopted, how he wasn’t your _real_ brother.” Aaron offered a gentle squeeze of the hand, an understanding tilt of his head. “And I know you two got closer to being sorted when he left, and that you love him, really, but – “ Aaron paused. “Robert, we couldn’t do that to our kid. Kids pick up on things, even if you don’t mean them to.”

“But that’s – “ Robert stared wide-eyed at his husband. “That’s not how it would be, I – I’d never.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset, I’m. Well, maybe I’m upset but it’s just – “ Robert blew out a breath, tried to quell the shake in his voice. “It would be different, this time –“

“Robert – “

“No, wait, just listen.” Aaron nodded, blue eyes fixed on Robert’s face in a way that reminded him that his expertise in Aaron was a mutual thing, each cultivating encyclopaedias of the other. For every data point Robert had collected Aaron had matched him, for every scar a freckle, for every regret a mistake, for every kiss, another, and another.

“It’d be different, because even with Andy… it wasn’t about Andy, was it? Not really. It was about my dad. How he treated us, how I felt about it.” Robert glanced away, as though the shadow of Jack Sugden would be looming over his shoulder, ready and waiting with his two cents. “You know as well as anyone the kind of things I’d say when I was lashing out at someone. It doesn’t mean I believed it, I just knew that they did, or would, and that it’d hurt them even if it wouldn’t make me hurt any less.”

Aaron’s thumb brushed over Robert’s knuckles, and Robert took it for what it was. Forgiving. Understanding. Loving.

Aaron. Listening.

“I loved my dad. And I loved Andy, even when I buried it. And I didn’t say he wasn’t my real brother because he was adopted, it wasn’t that at all. It wasn’t a biology thing – my. My mum wasn’t biologically mine but we still belonged to each other. We were still family, I loved her more than –“

Robert choked, the lump in his throat rising quick as high tide. Aaron shuffled closer, pressing a kiss to his forehead, long and firm and grounding, then another, like he couldn’t help himself. Their hands were still clasped between them, Robert’s wrist crunching at an uncomfortable angle, but he didn’t let go.

“We can stop,” Aaron said, “or take a break if you want? Talk about it tomorrow instead?”

“No, I want you to understand.” Robert made sure to look right into Aaron’s eyes, unafraid of being seen by the man who, when confronted with the mess and balls-ups and destruction that he was, thought _eh, I’ll be havin that yeah, and forever n’all._ “You say that kids pick up on things, and I know fair enough, that’s true. But they can’t pick up on what’s not there. Any baby I have with you…I couldn’t do anything but love the bones of them, Aaron. Like I love the bones of you. And sure, a sprog with your eyes wouldn’t half be a danger to every heart in the Dales – “

Aaron scoffed, rolling those eyes, but his teeth peeked out in a smile that Robert couldn’t help but lean in to kiss, pressing his tongue into Aaron’s mouth and pulling a soft rumble from his throat. Aaron brushed his nose along Robert’s as they parted, a move that brought Robert back to lazy mornings, to dark and quiet nights.

“But that wouldn’t matter to me. I’d rather they had your bravery, and your resilience – “

“And my cooking skills?”

“Reckon that’ll be my department,” Robert said, “unless they also know their way round a fire extinguisher.” Aaron pinched Robert’s thigh and grinned at Robert’s yelp, before melting against him, shuffling so their legs were side by side, Aaron’s shoulder against Robert’s chest. Robert pressed his lips to his husband’s temple, resting there.

“I love you,” Aaron said, and Robert felt it inflate his chest, warm and glowing.

“I love you too,” Robert twined his arms around Aaron, pulling him even tighter to him. “So…adopting? Should we consider it?” Aaron settled back against Robert, relaxed like he was at the sink, tracing circles across the backs of Robert’s hands. He nodded.

“Yeah,” he said. “I think we should.”

They stayed there on the couch until the evening swallowed the day, just being, quiet and close. There was no rush. Their home would be busy soon enough.


End file.
